I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
