Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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