I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
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You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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