You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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