Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
