ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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