Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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