I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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