i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
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the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
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On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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