I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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