Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
