PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
