if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
