Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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