But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize