all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
