tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
this is an emotional support booty call
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
do nipples grow back?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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