I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
