If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
