he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
