Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
