so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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