Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We were destined to go to rehab together
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
