I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
