Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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