Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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