Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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