Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize