I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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