Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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