the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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