Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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