Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
