i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize