Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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