Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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