I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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