yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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