i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he shaved USA in his pubs
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
