Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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