just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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