It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
