People in love make me want to vomit
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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