my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
