The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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