Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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