wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
