Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
