i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
