Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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