your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
