Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
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I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
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Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
All the doctor said was why
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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