like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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