i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
