bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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